How to manage stress

Everyone feels stress from time to time. It usually happens when we feel threatened or are in a situation that we don't think we can manage or control. Daily life challenges such as those involving work, money, and relationships are often the cause, and our reaction to these potentially stressful events is as individual as we are. We all deal with stress differently. Our ability to cope can depend on our genetics, early life events, personality, and social and economic circumstances.

Sometimes, a small amount of stress can be useful. It can make us feel alive and excited and can motivate us to get things done. But it can become a problem when it’s very intense or lasts for a long time. Healthcare professionals refer to some types of stress as 'acute' or 'chronic'. Acute stress occurs within a few minutes to a few hours of an event. It lasts for a short period of time, usually less than a few weeks, and is very intense. It can happen after an upsetting or unexpected event such as the death of a loved one, or an assault. Chronic stress lasts for a longer period of time, or keeps coming back, because the pressure we’re under is continuous. For example, if we’re caring for a sick relative, or in an unhappy marriage.

What are the signs of stress?

Whenever we encounter a perceived threat, our hypothalamus, a tiny region at the base of our brain, sets off an alarm system in our body known as the ‘fight or flight’ response. Through a combination of nerve and hormonal signals, it prompts our adrenal glands to release a surge of hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, that increase our heart rate, blood pressure, and energy levels to help us deal with the threat. Then, when the danger has passed, hormone levels gradually return to normal. As adrenaline and cortisol levels drop, our heart rate and blood pressure return to baseline levels, and all our other systems resume their regular activities.

But if the stressors don’t go, and we constantly feel under threat, that fight-or-flight reaction will stay turned on. And our overexposure to those stress hormones can affect how we think, feel, and behave - putting our health and happiness at risk.

Usually, when we’re stressed, we’ll be able to tell right away. But sometimes we might keep going without recognising the signs. Common physical symptoms of stress include upset stomach, sweating, a fast heartbeat, headaches, and muscle pains. Mental indicators include anxiety, irritability, racing thoughts, low mood, and poor concentration. And it can also affect our behaviour; crying, difficulty sleeping, teeth grinding, eating more, or less, and acting out of character, are all typical.

Stress isn’t normally considered a mental health problem, but it can trigger or aggravate disorders such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. It may also lead to serious physical conditions such as cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal illnesses, and skin and hair problems.

So, stress can wreak havoc on our mental and physical well-being and may lead to serious illness if it isn’t addressed. Therefore, it’s important to recognise the signs and symptoms early so that we can find effective ways of managing it. Adopting unhealthy coping methods such as drinking, smoking, or taking drugs, will only make things worse.

Managing stress

Effective stress management can help us break the hold stress has on our life, so we can be happier, healthier, and more productive. When we’re stressed, we tend to think there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s true that the bills won’t stop coming, and work and family responsibilities can’t be ignored, but in fact, we have a lot more control than we might think. Although there's no quick-fix cure for stress, and no single method will work for everyone, there are simple things we can do to change the common life problems that can cause us stress or make stress a problem. Here are twenty tips that will help.

20 Tips for Managing Stress

1.      Identify the problem

The first step to feeling better is to identify the root cause of your stress. If you're not sure what's causing it, keep a diary and make a note of stressful episodes for two weeks. Then review it to spot the triggers.

2.      Take control

The act of taking control is empowering, and it's a crucial part of finding a solution that satisfies you - and not someone else.

3.      Adopt a positive outlook

If we perceive a threat as something we have the ability to manage, the outcome’s likely to be positive, whereas if we perceive it as something we can't do anything about, it’ll probably be negative. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them, and learn from your mistakes.

4.      Get practical advice

Check locally and online for free advice services offering help to manage debt, housing, welfare, and employment issues. They will have dealt with similar problems to yours, and their expert knowledge can make a big difference.

5.      Connect with people

A good support network of family, friends, and work colleagues can ease your stress and help you see things in perspective. But, if someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.

6.      Get active

Exercise can relieve stress. It releases endorphins that make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction from your daily worries.

7.      Take some ‘me time’

Set aside some time each day or week to do something that you want to do. It could be reading a book, watching a film, or eating something you enjoy. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. If you regularly make time for enjoyment and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.

8.      Sleep well

A good night’s sleep is essential for your mental and physical health. Simple sleep hygiene measures include having a regular bedtime routine, cutting out caffeine in the evening, not using a phone or laptop immediately before bedtime, and keeping the room dark and well ventilated. Talk to your doctor if you’re not sleeping properly.

9.      Help others

Doing small things such as going on a coffee run for colleagues will help you feel good about yourself. Taking up activities such as volunteering or community work, helping people who are in situations worse than yours, will increase your resilience and help put your problems into perspective.

10.  Challenge yourself

Setting yourself small goals and challenges at home or work, such as learning a new skill, helps to build confidence and increase emotional resilience.

11.  Time management

Accept that there are limits to what you can achieve each day. Plan, prioritise, make lists, share tasks, and most importantly, delegate where possible. If you’ve got too much on your plate, drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list, or eliminate them entirely.

12.  Instant stress relief

The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath and using your senses: what you see, smell, hear, taste, and touch, or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favourite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to a favourite piece of music, tasting a particular food, or hugging a pet for example, you can quickly relax and focus yourself. Discover the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.

13.  Be grateful

Try writing down three things that went well, or for which you're grateful, at the end of each day. When stress is getting you down, this simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

14.  Get it off your chest

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build, and your stress will increase.

15.  Use relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing exercises activate the body’s relaxation response - a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the fight or flight stress response. As you learn and practice these techniques, your stress levels will decrease, and your mind and body will become calm and relaxed.

16.  Adapt

If you can’t change what’s causing your stress, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your attitude and expectations. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

17.  Accept what you can’t change

Many things in life are beyond our control, such as the behaviour of other people, serious illness, or a national recession. Rather than stressing about them, focus on the way you choose to react to these problems. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation that you can’t change.

18.  Talk it through

Share your feelings. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Talk to a trusted friend, emotional support line, or counsellor.

19.  Avoid unhealthy habits

Don't rely on alcohol, smoking, drugs, or caffeine as your ways of coping. These crutches won’t solve your problems in the long term. They’ll just create new ones.

20.  Forgive and move on

Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

If, having tried these self-help techniques, you’re still feeling stressed, please go and see your doctor. They may suggest counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy, medication, or further tests.

The reward for learning to manage stress is a balanced life. With time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun, as well as the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head-on. And it might even lead to a longer, healthier life.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If you have any thoughts to share, or ideas for future posts, please do let me know. I would love to hear from you.